Where’s the #$%* Eggplant?

03. May 2016 funny 1
Where’s the #$%* Eggplant?

When I was growing up, my mom would plan the week’s menu and often prep everything on Sunday.  She and my father were of the mindset that we had to eat everything on our plates even if we didn’t like it.  That often meant that I would still be at the dinner table at 10:30pm staring at my lima beans or brussels sprouts in disgust.  This particular story is about an eggplant.

One week, my siblings and I happened to see an eggplant in the fridge ready to be prepped for a weeknight meal.  Eggplant was one of our least favorite items next to liver and onions (or manicotti, but that’s a whole other story). So, we did what any normal kids would do while my mom was out of the house running errands.  We took the eggplant, drove it down the street and put it down the storm drain. Voila! Problem solved.

My mom came back from running errands and we all just sat there and stared while she furiously searched the fridge looking for the now-missing eggplant.  We could hear her muttering to herself, “Where’s the #$%* eggplant? I KNOW I bought one!” It was nearly impossible not to bust out laughing, but we didn’t want to show any culpability for fear of getting caught.

To our amazement, our plan worked (our plans never worked), and we didn’t have to eat eggplant that week. SCORE!

Fast forward many years later, during Christmas, and after a wonderful family celebration (and perhaps some wine), my siblings and I started reminiscing about growing up.  We reminded my mom about the case of the missing eggplant.  We finally confessed to throwing it down the storm drain and all she could say was “I KNEW I had gotten an eggplant!!!!!” in between tears of laughter.

Now that two of my kids are in elementary school, I am waiting for payback.  I have no doubt that  one day something similar will happen to me, except I’ll be on the other side muttering, “Where’s the #$%* broccoli? I KNOW I bought broccoli!”

And for the record, 30+ years later I would still throw that thing down the storm drain.


1 thought on “Where’s the #$%* Eggplant?”

  • 1
    DeeAnn Bredgaard on May 3, 2016 Reply

    Oh I wish I was that smart as a kid….I just swallowed each bite with a glass of milk lol…. I am SO happy you decided to do this…I can’t wait to follow this Circus.

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