Why I Blacklisted All-in-One Craft Boxes

19. February 2017 funny 2
Why I Blacklisted All-in-One Craft Boxes

I should preface this by saying that I am not crafty. At all. I’ve always wanted to be, but I think my impatience usually wins. And oh, my lack of creativity. When I have to walk through a craft store to purchase items, I am always delighted at all of the options, only to remember that I have absolutely zero talent in this arena. No amount of tutorials or YouTube videos will change that. I often go on Pinterest and save a bunch of DIY craft projects only to laugh later at my hopeful attitude.

The most advanced project that I’ve made was my son’s Valentine’s box for school last week. I taped some cups to the top of a shoe box, spray painted it red, and voila! A Lego box. I was actually kinda proud of myself for that one. That’s as good as it gets for me.

All of that aside, I haven’t kept basic crafts out of the house for my young kids. I have done my fair share of crayons, markers, paints, glue, glitter, coloring books, play dough, pipe cleaners, etc.

But the thing that is recently on my craft blacklist: the ALL-IN-ONE CRAFT BOX. You know the ones I’m talking about:

The yarn weaver

Make your own bracelet/necklace kit

Build-a-car and paint it

Bracelets with those awful rubber bands

Pottery kit

Body Art Kit

They fill the aisles at the craft stores and scream at me when I walk by. “Pick me! Pick me!” It is so tempting, especially for someone like me with limited creativity and no artistic skills. So, I have obliged many times and purchased a few of the above items. Bad idea jeans.

I’ve found that the boxes should come with the following warnings:

  • The instructions aren’t clear at all. You’re gonna need to Google how to do this. Fun!
  • Will induce tears from the child, and often the parent!
  • Your finished product won’t look anything like what’s on the box. Don’t get your hopes up!
  • If you can’t knit before buying this box, you won’t learn how to knit with this box!
  • The paint that’s included is nowhere near enough for the entire car. Great!
  • The plastic parts included are SO cheap that they’ll break when you look at them!
  • You’ll never be able to mold your clay into anything more than a big clump! Sorry!
  • The small rubber bands will end up all over your house for years to come! Awesome!
  • You may be able to make a cute necklace, but the clasps included suck balls! Good luck!
  • Don’t believe the box when it says “easily washable” because that’s a blatant lie!

Last time my daughter used a Body Art kit with “easily washable” body paint, she looked like Frida Kahlo for days (and that was after scrubbing her face with soap and water).

I’m convinced these all-in-one boxes are either for the really talented or the really patient, but I am neither one of those things. Therefore, I think I’ll stick to markers and crayons around this house. I’ll leave the craft boxes to the rest of you…

Happy crafting!


2 thoughts on “Why I Blacklisted All-in-One Craft Boxes”

  • 1
    Samantha Martinez on February 19, 2017 Reply

    My nephew had those rubber bands for Christmas at our house 4 years ago and was making all kinds of cool things. Unfortunately I STILL find rubber bands in the most random places. 4 years later.

  • 2
    Joanne on February 20, 2017 Reply

    Those kits are definitely more exciting sealed up and looking pretty on the shelves than opened and a hot mess of landfill nuggets in my house!

    That pic of s…..omg! That dang kit!

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